"'Rukia's... finally got a family... Don't get in the way... I can't get in the way...' That's what I told myself. But... thinking back now... I might've just been scared." ~Renji Abarai, Bleach (Episode 32)

I lie here, asking myself if it's wrong for me to feel this way still.

You once told me, "I know how long love, even unrequited, can be... Your love has lasted years, dear... And it's still strong..."

Those words still hold true, now. But I also feel ashamed for still feeling this way, especially considering all the reasons you gave me why we couldn't be together. And yet, here I am, hoping there is a way.

I wish I could talk, that way I could call and you wouldn't have to come online just to talk to me. I'm sorry for making you return to a place that's been so cruel to you, lately...

"How do you have the power...
To make me feel this way?...
What kind of miracle...
Has sent you my way?...
Why can't I just accept...
the fact you love me so?...
Why can't I tell you...
How it never hurt me to know...
You love me...
With every last breath...
and every last beat of your heart...
You love me...
My life's in your hands...
Help me to withstand...
The fact that we'll never part...
You love me so..." ~Boku no koibito...

God, I miss you, koi...